Need a jimmy riddle?

Cash for pubs and restaurants to offer loo breaks

Have you ever had the problem of trying to locate a loo in the United Kingdom, or anywhere else for that matter?

Visitors to the UK, especially those from warmer climes have a natural tendency to need to pee more often after they arrive in an area with a temperate climate when it is cold, even the Brits can sometimes caught short when out and about.

The shortage of, or the inability to locate, public loos is a never-ending story in many UK towns and cities, and the easiest solution has been to go to a pub, however, publicans do not take kindly to non-drinkers who urinate in their facilities.

The simple solution is to order and pay for a half pint of beer, on the way to the loo, then afterwards drink it.

Unfortunately, the diuretic effect of the drink means that there is a need to urinate again soon afterwards, so the only possibility is to pop into another pub, and so on and so forth ad infinitum! A never-ending story, but nevertheless quite a happy one!

Now the thoughtful UK government may have the solution [see below], but if the truth was known, the government and the local authorities were the source of the problem, as many public toilets were closed down in recent years, to reduce expenditure.

“The desperate dash to find a public loo on Britain's high streets could be eased with a plan to pay businesses to open their toilets to non-customers.

Pubs and restaurants across the UK will be encouraged to open their toilets in exchange for as much as £600 (RM 3,800) a year.

The government is expected to urge local councils to adopt the scheme in order to address a national shortage.”

(Extracted from BBC news)

However, dear potential visitor to England, there is another, not so well known solution, which is legal, albeit not so politically correct. Try it, it may be fun?

THIS LAW IS STILL ON THE STATUTE BOOK IN ENGLAND

It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

The left-handers should have no problem with this!

An expensive outdoor urinal

Caution: The policeman who arrests you may be unaware of the old law quoted above!

Furthermore it is technically only permissible for Hackney Carriage (taxi) Drivers to do it, as it is covered by the Hackney Carriage act, however it has allegedly been done on mass during taxi and local council disputes.

Therefore, pee on a rear wheel with caution!

Necessitas non habet legem

- Necessity knows no law