Balls Flog, Surgeons Choose

GOLF BALLS

I am not a golfer, but a lot of folks are!

So here are ten of the best caddy replies to comments by golfers.

#10
Golfer "That can't be my ball, it's too old."

Caddy "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

# 9
Golfer "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."

Caddy "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

# 8
Golfer "Do you think my game is improving?"

Caddy "Yes, sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

# 7
Golfer "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"

Caddy "Eventually."

# 6
Golfer "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."

Caddy "I don't think so, sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

# 5
Golfer "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."

Caddy "It's not a watch--it's a compass."

# 4
Golfer "How do you like my game?"

Caddy "Very good, sir. But personally, I prefer golf."

# 3
Golfer "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"

Caddy "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."

# 2
Golfer "This is the worst course I've ever played on."

Caddy "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

# 1
Golfer "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."

Caddy "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

But that's all balls to me!

SURGEONS CHOOSE

Five Surgeons talk about their choice of the ideal patient.

Five surgeons are discussing the easiest patients to operate on.

The first says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon said: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

The fifth surgeon probably spoke for all of us when he said: "You're all wrong. I choose BN politicians, they are the easiest to operate on."

"They have no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. And their brains and backsides are interchangeable."

[With many thanks to mr bojangles]

Bottoms up!